I normally hand write my journal entries, but I’ve been a bit slack lately. While I remain pretty consistent to at least do it every few days, the content of each has never really dived too much beyond describing the same things; what I’m doing & what I need to do that day.

I’m trying to give myself a mental break, to say that I’m uninspired at the moment is an understatement. Unfortunately this applies to many aspects of life at the moment; feeling like life is just happening and I’m just going through the motions.

Managed to put a TV up yesterday which feels like a slight accomplishment; but then I look at how I’ve let my front garden go and I feel ashamed.

Things are not bad in the slightest, it only feels like a period of meh. Could the weather (winter here in Australia) really be getting to me? I normally love winters though.

Trying to find connections with how I’m feeling with recent events is frustrating because I truly don’t know the answer. It would be so easy if this is just a continuation of grief over my Dad. However, while I miss him and think about him often, I am truly at peace with his passing given the alternative was a quality of life he didn’t want.

So as I sit here having a morning coffee while my kids are doing their Sunday Karate training sessions, I lack the drive to even hand write. Giving into my laziness a little bit and typing this up, as I’ve always been a digital native and typing my thoughts is less friction than handwriting.

I’m making an effort to try and read more blogs to get some inspiration. Some of the writing and storytelling is very good. Don’t know if I’m inspired or just envious of their talent to craft a story; but I’m enjoying it nonetheless.

I should really reach out to some of the bloggers I read. Not to collaborate or anything, but just to express my appreciation for their posts.

Getting some time to head to a conference in just over a week which I hope will be a good chance to take stock and focus on one topic for a few days. After that, my wife goes on a girls weekend with her friends; which I hope does the same for her as I can feel she could use a breather too.

I’m out of coffee. I should probably go back to watch the kids at karate, but they have a few hours left. I don’t mind watching them honestly, but they are at an age where they are very self sufficient and probably prefer to hang out with their karate friends without their Dad hanging around.

We have a Google Hub that displays their pictures throughout the years. My wife an I always stop and admire any cute photos from when they were babies; pining a little for just 5 minutes back in that moment. While I absolutely miss them as babies, I really like who they are becoming so I wouldn’t have things any other way.

Boy this really was a random ramble of thoughts. I feel better, I really need to let go of the aspirational on how I write and just do.

The follow up - back at karate training watching the kids. Moved writing this from my old iPad to my Minimal Phone (thanks technology).

Feeling grateful watching the kids train with others they have now spent a good time growing up with, as well as senseis who have guided them through their journey.