I re-enabled Instagram.

It’s a very annoying thing to do or even admit, but the whole sharing photos thing got the better of me. Even though I have a seperate website for my photos (and even got a couple of comments this week), I still want to share my stuff more widely. I don’t know why really, it’s not like I have many followers or likes/comments on my posts so far.

If anything, it’s probably nice to share this stuff with the few people on my Instagram; who are generally family but don’t see that stuff on Facebook, where it’s really just pictures of my kids.

I also have been finding I’m having an issue with Reddit. While I haven’t logged into my account, I find myself wasting time just browsing the site anyway. Not so much on the phone, but on my laptop when I’m “bored”.

I’ve blocked it on my phone, I should probably work out a method on my laptop too.

Outside of the failures, things have been ok. I finished reading The Antidote by Oliver Burkeman, who goes through the problems with the ‘power of positive thinking’ cult, how that actually leads to unhappiness and some alternative ideas such as truly embracing failure can actually lead to more happiness.

I should really start noting down summaries and ideas from these books down. I do feel like I forget a bit of it until I skim through and read parts of it again.

So in short, I’ve so far simply replaced one version of time wasting on social media with others and a little bit of extra reading.

Don’t think I’m doing a great job at this so far, but I keep pushing through.

My first week after turning off a bunch of social media accounts. Instagram, Threads, Mastodon, LinkedIn, Reddit etc all either disabled or logged out.

The only one I didn’t turn off was Facebook. This isn’t such an issue as I don’t have a desire to use it often; only requiring access to kids’ school and activity groups, and only using it on my laptop.

Photography without social

Being an amateur photographer, I’ve been sharing photos on my personal site but also wondering why just a little. I don’t make money from photography; it is purely a hobby. But I find myself wanting to share my work more broadly, which makes it seem slightly counterintuitive to not engage in social media.

But on the flipside, I know the moods on my photography will go up or down based on the reactions (likes, comments or lack thereof) on photos posted on social media. So, is there really any value doing so?

There’s a reason I don’t have any analytics enabled on my personal sites; I don’t want to have how I feel about what I put out there influenced by the reaction.

The transformation of Instagram in recent years has helped here. It’s no longer a space for those of us like myself, who primarily take and share photos, want it to be. Yet, despite other options becoming available, if I’m thinking about sharing my photos more broadly; it’s still Instagram I gravitate towards.

I’m undecided here. Even when (if) I decide to engage in social media more; I’m unsure where photography will fit.

Microblogging as a distraction mechanism

It’s Monday. I have work I need to complete as part of a project. I’m not behind on work, but I do need to ensure I’m getting things done.

Instead, I instinctively try to open LinkedIn on my work computer; good move past me, I hibernated the account. I find myself picking up and unlocking my phone without consciously realising, only to have nothing to do. The apps are gone in addition to the logins being suspended or deleted.

I’m procrastinating, but my usual vices are no longer there. It’s true, social media just distracts us from the things in our lives right in front of us that we can do.

I found the answer, right? Wrong!

Time saved on social media needs to be made up with changes in other aspects to make the most of your time. Work chat and other channels suddenly become a substitute distraction method.

No social media doesn’t fix your lack of drive or productivity at times; it hopefully makes you notice what is going on and triggers you to make changes in what you do to avoid the traps, but the traps can creep up in other forms.

Why did I buy another gadget?

I purchased another ereader this week. Why?

The justification is I want to read more. I already have a Kindle and a eink writing tablet (Supernote A6X) that I do a bit of reading on. I’ve read more this week, filling in the time I would have previously used on social media. So why yet another device to read more?

Well, my justification now is this one is a phone form factor. As such, I can take it around more and read wherever I go instead of just at home, or places where I’ve taken the effort to bring my Supernote around.

The plan is this device will take the place of my phone in my front pocket, with the phone being relegated to my fanny pack.

Will this make books the distracting factor instead of social media? Maybe. Can’t be the worst thing to do though.

While I’m not depressed or at a sort of life crossroads; I do feel overwhelmed and not keeping up. I’ve never been great at coordination, to-do lists and time management, but I feel more out of sequence on what I need to do than ever before.

This maybe a result of a culmination of life events highlighting my existing inefficiencies. However it does feel like my ongoing struggle to maintain healthy online habits may be an unnecessary factor here.

I’ve posted previously on how I manage my online habits, particularly on my phone. Restrictions I place on when and where I use online services but I still feel distracted. I don’t hate my time on social platforms, indeed there are some great communities of likeminded interests; however it doesn’t stop it feeling like it’s taking away my focus and time on other things I should be doing.

It maybe time for a change. A hard cutoff from the online services. Not just from my phone, not just logging off from them and resisting; a full detox and deletion.

The question I keep coming back to internally is: do any of these microblogging services actually provide more value in my life than what it takes from me?

No doubt, I’ve interacted and actually met some cool people in my online interactions. Some of them I may lose contact with. That part of the disconnect will suck.

I also know I can’t just disconnect from it all and expect other items to magically get better. I hope to use more of my focus to improve my ability to organise and get life items addressed.

Then there’s aspects of real life that now blends into the online life that gets slightly more annoying to disconnect.

My kids sporting clubs and school groups are all on Facebook. While I don’t personally have much of an issue with Facebook usage, I would love to still turn that tap off. However, I also don’t think it would be very fair to dump those things for my wife to keep track of for me.

I will discuss with her before I decide on that one.

Outside of Facebook, the plan is to get rid of the following: Instagram, Threads, Reddit, one of my micro.blogs, a few small forums I’m part of, and even Mastodon.

LinkedIn is an interesting one. It feels like a need to have given I’m in the technology industry. I know you can very much communicate and connect without it, but I’m not a natural face-to-face communicator and connector. Networking is hard enough as it is for me; the added friction of trying to do so without a LinkedIn connection feels a step too much.

I don’t have a firm date of when I will pull the plug, but it will be sooner rather than later. It’s coming up to the beginning of May; a new month seems like a good a time as any.

Calling out my own bullshit

11 years ago I wrote this post: Social media blackouts for weddings.

I had a very technology-positive stance around the use of smartphones and cameras by guests at weddings; and bristled at those who chose to either not allow guests to take photos, or who asked guests not to post anything until they did.

I now look back at my views then in the same way I see the Google Glass Explorers (a.k.a. Glassholes), which was actually released a few days after my post. We were a bit naive in the adoption and acceptance, seeing tech as moving us forward without enough empathy and sometimes flat out dismissal of others who disagreed.

On a personal level my thoughts on weddings being a celebration for everyone to freely capture as they seem fit, in addition to the value of a professional photographer not being diminished by their photos, actually remains the same.

What’s changed is that I understand and respect those who don’t feel this way.

While I’ve developed those feelings over the last decade as I’ve gotten older and (dare I say it) wiser; this was clarified to me over the weekend as my family attended a friend’s wedding.

They didn’t wish to have people take photos during the ceremony. And while they were happy for people to take whatever photos they wanted afterwards at the reception, they requested no social posts until they were able to do so the next day.

It seemed like a great balance (although in this case the marriage celebrant could have been a bit less condescending when advising guests).

They had a Google Photos shared album so guests can share their photos with the couple throughout the night and the following days. Which was actually a very cool use of technology to see photos of multiple guests being shared during the night.

Anyway where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I was wrong.

In the end, it was a great night and lots of nice photos were taken by all. Many of which I would love to share, but don’t feel it’s appropriate for a wider audience and will keep most of those to our friends circle.

Recently I went with my wife on a 4 day mini break to one of our favourite places; Bunbury in Western Australia. On the lead up to the break, I increasingly craved one not just physically but mentally. My usual routine of sharing my photos on travels on various online platforms just didn’t feel like it would be helping that purpose.

So, the day before we left I decided to delete all the social apps off my phone. While I’m generally purposeful of my usage of these apps on my phone; I knew in a holiday mode with time on my hands, I would be more prone to increase my usage out of a desire to share cool things I’m doing, or just out of boredom.

This isn’t my first time of disconnecting from social media. Indeed I’m constantly attempting to be more mindful of my technology usage. As a result, a lot of what I’ve experienced I expected. So while I don’t have a list of lessons learned per se; here are some things that were reinforced as part of my mini-disconnect.

Social media moves on without you

It’s often said but it needs reinforcing here: while social media works off many people sharing content, isn’t reliant on your content specifically.

Only your closest friends may even notice that you aren’t online (and most won’t even know). Those few that do notice are most likely to contact you directly by other means if they have any concerns.

These networks do a great job in mimicking the connections of the physical world. While they can increasingly lead to very real friendships and more, the majority are confined to the online space they share.

While our online life might appear more integrated with our lives while we are knee-deep in commenting and posting; the volume of noise is so vast and constant that our presence no longer in a space just can’t be felt.

It’s not that our online connections may not care about us; but more likely they are so overwhelmed with the voices of everyone else that it’s less likely to notice when one goes silent.

This is probably easier to do when on a break outside of your normal life

For most of us, our lives are very routine. Get up, get ourselves and the kids (if you have them) ready, go to work and come home, maybe do some regular activities during the week and some catch ups with other loved ones on weekends. With the prevalence of smartphones and (virtually) unlimited connectivity, it’s been so easy for social networks to become integrated into those daily routines.

So those who have been trying to go without social media on their phones, or even restrict usage to certain times, may have experienced difficulty doing so as our brains have become accustomed to having those dopamine hits routinely throughout our day; I know I certainly have.

But breaks and times away from your usual location breaks that routine. Even if it’s a place you are lucky enough to visit often, you are doing different activities like taking time to enjoy a breakfast meal at a cafe or visiting local tourist sites.

At least for myself, breaking the social media cycle has seemed easier when on such a break from my regular routines compared to trying to do so otherwise.

Despite the change in routines, there will still be triggers

Our brains are wired to enjoy and look for the regular hits we get used to from social media usage. So when you stop completely, even in a scenario where your routines are disrupted and you are kept busy by other activities, there are always things that can trigger you into wanting to use social media.

For myself, I like to take photos. I enjoy the process of making them, but I also enjoy sharing them. Most of my photos shared are for the close family and friends on Facebook (I have less than 40 connections, so it is very much limited to those close connections), but I also like sharing wider on such platforms such as Instagram.

While I’d like to say I do my photography for my own needs and wants; it’s hard to deny that reactions to photos posted hit that reward centre. It’s all so easy to get into the trap of posting something and waiting for the likes or possibly comments indicating what you have posted has attention, and therefore value.

So times during my break when I have visited a nice cafe with some appealingly presented food and drink, or a local lake with beautiful scenery; I’ve taken my photos then felt the trigger to find somewhere to post them.

Some things have helped with these triggers. The main one is that I’ve always treated this as a break from social media; not a break up. There is value I still find in online communities that I want to experience without it negatively impacting my life. So those triggers have been followed by a realisation that I will post some of those photos at a later stage.

What I hope to get out of this moving forward

There’s probably a bit of hesitation or scepticism of such a social media break. That’s a bit understandable; why go through a cold turkey state just to pick up exactly where you left off once the break is over.

Indeed, if the plan is to not learn and adapt how you use these services moving forward; going cold turkey may not only have minimal benefit in the short term, but may also exaggerate your usage once you get back online (like someone consuming extra amounts of unhealthy food after a forced diet which they have not enjoyed).

As such, here’s some of the things I hope to take with me in my usage of social media moving forward.

Breaking the real time nature of my social usage

One of the things of noticing those triggers to share my photos on my break was the feeling that I needed to share those experiences as close as possible to when I was having them. Social media has been increasingly used like a real-time telling of our daily stories, even when the reality has always been carefully curated, small parts of ourselves and our lives that we want the world to perceive.

So while I still wish to share my experiences online in various forms; I want to be more mindful of when I share and interact with social media and move away from the desire to post about things in the moment.

Social media when it is best for my life, not for when it’s best for the networks themselves.

Continuing to keep my phone with minimal social media applications installed

I still hope to have the majority of social apps off my phone and accessing them on my personal laptop; where I’m not tempted to quickly check things when I’m out or at work.

Not only is this a great way to control your usage it’s actually a great way to improve the battery life of your phone; as apps try the best they can to funnel as much data as they can from our device to their service, with minimal care about how much battery that processing is using.

Re-review of which social media services I use and provide value to me

The reality is that we should be constantly evaluating the services we use and whether they are valuable to us or take our attention and time from more important things. A break is a chance to think about which services you may want to reduce the use of, or even remove completely if it no longer fits your needs.

I mentioned Instagram earlier because that’s the easiest one to mention when it comes to photo sharing social media services; but the reality is I stopped investing a lot of time into Instagram a long time ago. The reality is that modern Instagram no longer suits my needs from a photo sharing social service.

After the past few days, it has reinforced how little I actually use Facebook but it’s still my primary method of social sharing with friends and family. Even more revealing however is how Twitter-like microblogging services such as Threads and Mastodon are probably not as important to me as I thought previously.

While I will continue to use them and get value, my move away from the real-time nature of modern social media moves away from the strengths of microblogging platforms. Although this is more accurate with the Threads service and its algorithm based feed, Mastodon is less troublesome here and more aligned with how I’m wishing to use these services in the future.

Disconnection is beneficial even in smaller doses

When reading or hearing about people disconnecting from their mobile devices, you most likely are imagining someone going completely without their phone or even moving their service to a dumb phone temporarily.

As you’ve read above, my disconnection has been purely focused on the social media services. I still used my smartphone as normal for other services such as a communicator via calls or messages, music and podcasts, GPS navigation via Google Maps and even the occasional YouTube during quieter times.

Removing the social apps that can occasionally pull my focus from whats in front of me enabled the use of my phone for other purposes without guilt or distraction. It allowed my phone to work for me and add value without needing to pretend that it doesn’t exist.

I’m sure at some point in the future I will have some social apps on my phone. Sometimes they will add value, other times they won’t. I just have to b aware of each and take the actions necessary to ensure the technology is working for me as much as possible.

As such, my final learning from the past few days is it doesn’t have to be an all or nothing thing. We can choose to use social media when and where it suits us, but we can also disconnect and remove the distractions at times when we need it.

I think we need to normalise disconnecting occasionally when suited and not see it as a drastic action or anti-technology thing it’s always perceived as.

We can do so periodically, either in a planned or unplanned way, without feeling like we compromise part of ourselves in the process. While there are a subset of users who make their living off social media which will need further consideration; most are not going to experience a radical downgrade in their social media experience by disconnecting every so often.

Indeed by disconnecting from it occasionally, we may even develop a healthier relationship with our technology moving forward and maximise the benefits from these services more than we currently do as constant consumers.

While the digital town square never truly existed, the centralised social web is making way for connecting specialised communities instead

For a while there, Twitter did feel like a town square.

This wasn’t because most people were on it. Indeed from a numbers perspective, many other networks competed or even dwarfed the number of active Twitter users at any given time. Twitter was important because it was given validity via traditional media networks, which gave it a level of importance around overall public opinion that it probably didn’t deserve.

Trending topics were given mainstream coverage, even when it wasn’t clear just how many users were actually posting about said topics at any given time. They became an easy way for those with an agenda (positive or negative) to push their narrative to an audience wider than those who simply saw it on Twitter; as long as they could get it on the trending list.

This accelerated an already growing trend of posting extreme viewpoints for attention; because social networks were always tuned for maximum attention and not reasonable discussion. That trend then migrated into a media industry hit by revenues moving away from their industry & desperate for new income streams to hold up a crumbling business model.

While all this was happening without Twitter anyway, its real time nature became a central point for an industry looking for answers to a disruption they didn’t plan for.

For a lot of us, when you heard that something was going on and you wanted the latest information about it; you no longer turned on the news, you jumped on Twitter. This is what gave the service its perception of a global town square.

However, even before the events of the past few years; things were changing.

The use of Twitter by Donald Trump to help give him the exposure (amplified through traditional news networks) to enough people disenchanted with the status quo of politics to hand him the Presidency, followed by the mental overload of the pandemic in 2020; left many mentally exhausted, disenchanted at the societal effects of this globally connected world, and reviewing their use of social media & need to be constantly aware of everything going on in this world.

Combined with an increasing concern over the power a few Tech companies had over the global discussion and increased threats of regulation as a result; a move away from centralisation was already underway.

The Musk effect

In the same way that Twitter accelerated the move towards the centralised social web; Musk’s purchase of Twitter & actions since have accelerated the move away from it.

While some are still hoping the replicate its reach and influence such as Meta’s Threads service; other services which have been active for many years as an alternative to the centralised giants have seen massive growth; most notably Mastodon.

I’m not going to get into Mastodon, the Fediverse or the ActivityPub protocol here. Just know that Mastodon is a collection of thousands of small, generally community run, servers where it’s possible to communicate with each other regardless of server; however you generally interact the most within your server community.

With each community able to manage their own needs, there’s no centralised set of rules or social norms; but each is catered for their own audience.

While Mastodon is one example of a Twitter-like yet decentralised social web; the reality is beyond the technical implementations of each, people are now moving towards services where they prefer to interact like minded individuals with similar interests instead of joining a single service looking for the “global” view.

Reddit maybe the front page of the internet for some, but a lot of its value is in the variety of communities based on specific interests or locations. Discord has also grown in popularity over the years; initially as a gaming communications platform but then expanding to cater for interests of all types.

While Reddit and Discord might appear similar to the single centralised social model; their primary usage is more aligned to connecting like-minded people in smaller communities instead of connecting everyone to what is perceived to be the global community.

The future

While I don’t know if there will be another Twitter-like service that will have the same unifying influence; I believe that there won’t be one anytime soon.

What we are seeing is a correction of the oversharing, global attention-seeking social usage that the world undertook as we got our first taste of true global connectivity through the prevalence of mobile technology and effectively unlimited connectivity.

I think there is always a desire to connect with the world; but I think the focus of our online social efforts is moving towards quality over quantity. To connect locally; whether that’s based on location, or through common interests.

First, this is not a post to brag about how I’ve cracked the distraction pull of the smartphone and turned it into a productivity machine.

Like many of you, I’ve battled with my phone taking too much of my focus and not utilising the tools available to improve my workflow. I also believe being in control of your phone use is something that needs to be constantly worked on and not something to be “solved”.

With that in mind, I have spent a good part of a few years looking at ways to improve the use of my smartphone in order to serve me and not control me. The below is a list of things I do at the moment of writing this in early 2024.

While I have an iPhone at the moment, and this guide may feature iPhone specific apps; I’ll try and outline Android options for suggestions where I can. My last Android phone was the Galaxy S23 Ultra, so I’m familiar with modern Android and its capabilities. However, as with everything in technology it moves fast. So there maybe something I’ve missed in regard to Android here.

Alright, let start with what I feel is actually the biggest distraction of phones that many people don’t admit to: work apps.

Truly disconnecting from the work environment

The modern always connected world has somehow translated into the always connected workplace. The whole growth of the Blackberry organisation was built on constant connectivity to the office (I lived that for a short while).

One of the things I’ve focused on in the past few years is making sure I’m leaving work stuff during my work hours and not letting it take up mental space during my private time. This isn’t always possible for some, but for many I suspect they involuntarily give work items more mind share outside of work than it deserves.

Do you ever open up your work email or chat app while out of work just out of habit? Do you convince yourself you need to keep up on things in order to be prepared the following work day? Some apps have some controls built in that can be configured to help here. Microsoft’s Teams and Outlook apps have a Quiet times function to silence all notifications during certain time periods.

At the moment, what I have found works for me is completely blocking work apps outside of my work hours via an app called ScreenZen.

Setting up blocking on ScreenZen

ScreenZen is a free app on the iOS App Store & Google Play Store for Android. I have only had experience with how it works on iPhone, so I will be only referencing that version. I’m also not associated with the app at all, just a fan of a free useful application

On iOS, ScreenZen leverages Apple’s built in Screen Time and Downtime features; but expands the capabilities to be far more powerful. As an example, while Downtime allows you to set time limits for certain apps and block access after that limit is reached; the block is trivially easy to bypass via a simple input of your Screen Time passcode.

ScreenZen on the other hand allows you to implement Strict Blocks on specific apps, in specific time periods. In the below screenshot, I have setup ScreenZen to block my work apps completely both outside of business hours and on weekends.

There’s no easy bypass of the block without going into ScreenZen itself to adjust. In addition, ScreenZen allows you to hide a blocked app completely; so you won’t be able to even find the app in the app list or Spotlight search! Out of sight, out of mind. Using an app when it hits a scheduled block time? Bam, no warnings just kicked straight out of the app. This is a good thing, a firm reminder that it’s time to stop.

Don’t want to block apps completely, ScreenZen also allows you to simply set timers upon opening the app to be more mindful and think about it before opening them as well as implementing time limits before prompting you again to avoid endless doom scrolling.

For Android users, it is well worth trying to see if it’s just as effective on there. Hopefully it utilises and expands Android’s Digital Wellbeing features in a similar way. However Android does have a few built in services that may help here.

One is a focus mode within Digital Wellbeing. Originally designed to block distracting apps and focus on work, I did use it to block work apps and focus on life pretty effectively. Android also has a pretty robust Work Profile functionality which effectively separates work and personal apps and allows you to turn off the Work Profile at specific times.

Certain manufacturers of Android phones have also built their own digital management features into their devices; with Samsung’s Modes and Routines allowing for a wide range of customisations for how apps and services work on your phone based on time or location.

What about social media apps?

Of course, all of the functionality above can be used to manage social media apps as well. This is a balance I’m still working out as I genuinely enjoy some of the discussions on some social services, but I also identify that it occasionally consumes more of my time and energy than I would like.

While there are services that manage my use, my main tool for social media is actually removing the app from my phone and limiting my social usage to the personal laptop wherever possible.

I deleted the Twitter app long before I closed my account completely. Threads by Meta is quickly taking over that mantle, so I occasionally delete the app if it gets too much. Instagram is pretty much always uninstalled except when I’m on holidays etc.

Another option is to use built in app functionality to limit the dopamine parts of the service. As an example, YouTube (secretly a very effective social network) is a far more controlled experience once you turn off Watch History. No more recommended video spirals, no more random Shorts, still have access to all your subscriptions and manual searching for videos you are actually looking for at the time.

A few other tips to help

Being mindful of notifications and defaulting to ‘No’

Notifications are designed to hijack your attention. But with every app wanting notification access, our attention is being hijacked constantly. This advice isn’t new if you’ve been looking at mindful phone usage and digital minimalism but it’s still worth repeating: turn off all unnecessary notifications. This includes trimming down the notifications that go to your Smartwatch if you have one.

My default mode now for all new apps installed is simple; notifications are always disabled by default. If I find an app where I would like notifications to come through, I will enable but then tweak the notification settings in the app and phone settings to ensure the notifications are working for me and not the app.

Simplify first. Don’t get caught up in being “productive”

My final tip for you is avoiding an easy trap if you start looking at being mindful of your phone usage online. You will quickly end up down a spiral of productivity porn full of references to PKMs, second brains, to-do apps, calendar apps etc all promising to help you improve your productivity.

If you want to head down that path, that’s something for you to decide. However, even if you do I would highly recommend simplifying your phone usage first before you start heading down the productivity minefield.

Productivity wise what works for me? Well it’s actually not trying to do too much productivity stuff on my phone unless I want too.

I use Apple’s calendar and reminders app and share some calendars and lists with my wife to organise basic household activities and items. I personally use Logseq for note taking and Drafts for quick references, but neither are some sort of knowledge management systems to improve my workflow or build a second brain; they are just tools I get use from.

A healthy democracy is fuelled by reasoned, respectful discussions

Social media is structured for debates, not discussions

Debates are one side versus another, fuelling a desire to be right

The desire to be right takes over from reason

Reason allows us to recognise the world doesn’t work in black and white, but many shades of grey

The result of which is extreme views are amplified, but voices of reason get lost in the stream

All of which would be of limited impact if media journalism didn’t follow suit

Traditional media now promotes debates instead of discussion

In doing so, they help validate and amplify the extreme views of the minority

The platforms for discussions are gone

Discussions are extinct, and a healthy democracy is breaking down

How do we fix it?

Do we regulate social media and traditional media to promote more objective content?

No

Regulation only ensures the entrenched, large established companies continue to dictate the narrative in the future by raising the administrative barrier for new media to emerge

It won’t promote reasoned discussions as companies are only driven by profit

Social media and traditional media companies only promote the extremes because we click/watch/read/respond to it

Which makes them more money

Only a collective change in our behaviour can influence real change

We try to look at others to blame for the breakdown of democracy

The problem is us

Some of my workmates were talking about phone etiquette the other day and how technology is, in their eyes, having a negative effect on social gatherings. They lament seeing people looking at their phones during a social outing, one workmate and his friends have resorted to putting their phones in a pile during dinner, with the first one to pick up their device paying for the bill.

Personally I have to say I don't understand the issue. I'm quite capable of using my phone and holding a conversation with people at the same time, and I feel my friends are the same way.

For example, this weekend I caught up with my best friends for dinner. There was one laptop, one tablet and people using their phone at one stage or another. However, despite these "distractions" we continued to converse in the same way we have for over a decade.

But maybe I've got it wrong. Maybe it's about people finding others using their phones in social gatherings rude. I think if this is the case we need to get over the opinion that people are only paying attention to you when they are making eye contact or not doing anything else.

I often mention that we shouldn't be trying to apply normal social conventions to online activities, maybe we also need to rethink the entire notion of body language as well.

I feel like the the next generation (my son) is going to consider this behaviour normal, whether you know the people or they are strangers, and won't consider the practice as a sign of disrespect as it currently is portrayed.

It may even be a lot sooner than that. Think about how dramatically social norms have changed since Facebook was first available to the open public in 2006. With the dawn of wearable computing upon the general public (Google Glass, smart watches etc), I believe the we are about to have these values challenged sooner rather than later.

I'm personally intrigued about how people react when technology is getting more ingrained into everyday life. I fear the privacy backlash by over-zealous politicians and interest groups with the intention of forcing technology to conform with existing social norms instead of letting new social techniques naturally develop around it.

This piece was originally written on Google+

A recent article by The West Australian discusses the increasing trend by couples to ask their guests to not use any social media or take photos during their wedding ceremonies.

On one hand, I understand that you should be able to feel comfortable on your wedding day. But on the other hand, if I was told to not take photos and use social media at someone's wedding, I just wouldn't go in the first place.

At one point in the article it is mentioned that "technology was moving faster than good manners.." Bullshit!. I've said it for a while now but we need to stop trying to force out-dated social norms in the technological age.

There's also a mention in the article about people taking photos and posting them on social media before the couple could release their photos from their professional photographer. One future bride laments "It is the couple's day and it really should be up to them to release the pictures."

On a personal level, I feel this bride needs to get her head out of her ass and stop pretending like she's a celebrity.

However, this person should learn that people don't care about what photos are first and they are always going to want to see the professional photos. Wedding photographers, especially good ones, are expensive for a reason. They are able to paint a picture of the moment that any regular person with a camera, like myself, just couldn't do. Being first doesn't matter.

There also the benefits that technology has bought to the big day. No longer are couples forced to hire an expensive photographer in order to capture the celebrations as there are plenty of family/friends willing to take their own photos and share them with you.

The other benefit is that you will have multiple people taking photos, each showing different aspects of the day that just one photographer may not capture.

While my wife and I had a quiet wedding with 25-30 people only, we still have photos from 3-4 different people all with their own views and photographic memories of our wedding.

In the end, I think these couples are extremely misguided. Wanting to control the whole experience is not the point of a wedding. It's not meant to be a perfectly orchestrated production. It's meant to be a celebration; a social celebration for all to take part.

This piece was originally written on Google+

2011 marked a big change for myself in regards to my online presence and social interaction. After years of locking down my Facebook account to friends only and largely ignoring Twitter; the introduction of Google+ and inspired by people like Jeff Jarvis and Tom Anderson I expanded my social experiences. I started this blog, completely opened my Facebook for public viewing, started my Twitter account and engaged with other Perth people in Google+.

After taking a nice break during the Christmas/New Year period, I’ve had a rethink of my ‘everything will be public’ policy and social habits and set myself some goals for this year that I hope to accomplish.

#1 – Scale back the public nature of my Facebook account

Now this isn’t a reversal of my opinion of the benefits of being public online that I wrote about in my first post, however I discovered that being public on Facebook is not beneficial for the way I use it. Basically, I don’t engage on Facebook much. I don’t make many posts, I don’t like pages or comment on brands, I barely comment on my friends posts. Mainly I use Facebook to keep in touch with friends I can’t catch up with often enough.

So while I won’t go back to hiding my Facebook profile from searches and blocking people, my posts will go back to being only accessible to friends.

#2 – Use Google+ for comments on my blog posts

For those of you (2 maybe 3 people) who read my blog, you may have noticed that I have now disabled comments in my posts. This is because a) there weren’t many comments and b) there were generally more comments were in Google+ that were linked to my blog post. So for each new blog post I have, I will add a link to the Google+ post so you can add comments if you wish.

#3 – Engage in Twitter more

I’m having a great time meeting new people and getting involved in great discussions through the Google+ Perth circle, however I feel like there is a great Twitter community that I’m missing out on since I don’t engage in there nearly as much.

A lot of this is due to the 140 character limit on Twitter which I find too restricting, and I also find Twitter not that well designed for conversation with it’s @ reply system compared to the comments system on Facebook and Google+.

I hope to post and engage more in Twitter over the next year to expand my social experience.

#4 – Make a review video and post it to YouTube

This is one of those things I have wanted to do for ages but there has always been one thing stopping me…fear! My friends will tell you that I suffer from a fear of public speaking, which also effects me when I’m talking on video.

However, I find talking about tech and other subjects much more easier than writing them down. A lot of times I’ve had an idea for a blog post but by the time I have the opportunity to write it down, I have trouble getting thoughts from the brain to the screen. I hope I can build my video skills to be able to make at least one video review this year.

So these are my social resolutions for 2012, are you planning anything similar for your social life or are you just taking everything in your stride as it comes?

Add a comment on Google+