My mind seems to be sabotaging me again.
Taking quite a privileged position at work and turning it into a “fight or flight” scenario; getting my anxiety up and wondering what’s next?
Once again, I find myself unfulfilled at work and I’m struggling with it. Most of the time (like right now) I can move forward and put my job as just a way to provide a lifestyle.
This morning was a different feeling though. A vagueness in my attitude, a lack of drive to do anything, a lack of energy just to move. Black dog, I know you well.
Thankfully I know the drill: you will come up with the worst possible scenarios to mull over. I have to identify them, accept it’s my brain being unreasonable, and move forward.
Always move forward. Never ignoring the minds tricks, but not wasting energy battling them and let it pass.
Context is key. I have choices here, my job itself isn’t actually bad, I have a reserve of leave available if I absolutely need it, home life has the usual stresses but we are in a far better position than most.
Balance. Not all about career happiness but not being afraid to pursue it. Not assuming the grass is greener elsewhere while also keeping the door open if something better is available.
Deep breaths. Slow the manic mind. Gratitude. Things will be fine.
Anxiety falls, clarity appears.
Move forward.