Andrew Melder

The lead up to this year’s end of year holiday period has been met with less anticipation than previous years.

After years of deteriorating health, my father was finally diagnosed with moderate to advanced Dementia in October this year. With his mental capacity rapidly falling, he has already needed to enter full time care instead of being at home. As you can imagine, the stress has taken a toll on members of the family.

While I generally take a pragmatic “deal with what’s in front of us” approach to things; I can’t deny there have been times it’s gotten to me too. There is an unspoken yet sober realisation now that this year’s Christmas will be the last for us with Dad where he is mentally and/or physically able to be with us.

While we all understand that Father Time comes for all of us and that there will be a final time for our lives one day; it’s unnerving to know it is a final time before it happens. I’ve knowingly had this experience once before that I can recall.

A couple of years ago, my mum and her sisters reunited at my parents place. Being located across the world, the unfortunate passing of their brother during the pandemic, and the known medical diagnosis of some; it was an unspoken but well known understanding that this was the last gathering.

I’m normally not keen on extended family gatherings if I’m honest, but I had a purpose that night as the amateur photographer in the family; take all the photos.

The night was a success. With dancing, singing and many photos taken and shared since. While I’m generally always the one taking photos at family gatherings anyway, I’m normally hesitant to take many photos of candid moments. But in times of realisation like these final gatherings, they are the ones I want to capture the most.

This year, I find myself having that purpose again. I’m unusually grateful that I even have the chance.

But I mainly write this to implore any of you reading of one thing: Do not wait for your realisation of the final moment. Always take the photo.