Auto-generated description: A solitary tree stands beside an empty bench overlooking a calm sea at sunrise.

My in-laws fly back to the UK tomorrow, the lead up to which always results in a feeling of sadness and dread in the house.

I’m lucky enough to have a great relationship with both sets of my in-laws (my wife’s parents divorced when she was very young). While my Father-in-law and his wife don’t visit due to health issues these days, my Mother-in-law and her husband are generally able to get here at least once a year. No mean feat coming half way around the world every time to Australia, but so grateful it is possible.

The goodbye every year gets tougher though. My kids are older now and feel the emptiness of the house when they are gone more. Pretty sure our dog is going to be sad without her daily pats and hellos from the in-laws.

The realities of life and ageing cast an increasing shadow over every visit. while my in-laws are in relatively good health, especially for their age, it’s hard to not feel these things when other family members are having health battles of their own. Increasing frailness results in just wanting to hold on tighter.

Thanks to technology, the daily video calls between my wife and her mum make the distance a bit more manageable over time; something we were especially grateful for during the pandemic. It is amazing to have, but never the same.

I’m always thankful for my wife for choosing to move here. While I’m close with my family, I’m nowhere near the level she is. The initial plan was for me to go with her to the U.K and spend some time there, before ultimately settling back here in Perth, Australia. Life had other plans with the expected arrival of our now oldest child, and the timeline was accelerated. My wife has never expressed regret for her choice, but I am always conscious of the fact that is was a choice she made to live away from her family.

As disruptive as it would be, if she said she wanted to move back I would still do it without hesitation. Well, assuming the kids are ok with the plan as they have built their own lives now too.

So tomorrow we have to see them off at the departure lounge again; planning future visits while also being sad and trying to quieten the fear that our catastrophising selves build in our minds, because we are increasingly aware that life cannot be scripted.