Photography

March 10, 2024

Wedding photography as a guest and why I was wrong

Calling out my own bullshit

Bridal table display at a wedding | Photo by author

11 years ago I wrote this post: Social media blackouts for weddings.

I had a very technology-positive stance around the use of smartphones and cameras by guests at weddings; and bristled at those who chose to either not allow guests to take photos, or who asked guests not to post anything until they did.

I now look back at my views then in the same way I see the Google Glass Explorers (a.k.a. Glassholes), which was actually released a few days after my post. We were a bit naive in the adoption and acceptance, seeing tech as moving us forward without enough empathy and sometimes flat out dismissal of others who disagreed.

On a personal level my thoughts on weddings being a celebration for everyone to freely capture as they seem fit, in addition to the value of a professional photographer not being diminished by their photos, actually remains the same.

What’s changed is that I understand and respect those who don’t feel this way.

While I’ve developed those feelings over the last decade as I’ve gotten older and (dare I say it) wiser; this was clarified to me over the weekend as my family attended a friend’s wedding.

They didn’t wish to have people take photos during the ceremony. And while they were happy for people to take whatever photos they wanted afterwards at the reception, they requested no social posts until they were able to do so the next day.

It seemed like a great balance (although in this case the marriage celebrant could have been a bit less condescending when advising guests).

They had a Google Photos shared album so guests can share their photos with the couple throughout the night and the following days. Which was actually a very cool use of technology to see photos of multiple guests being shared during the night.

Anyway where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I was wrong.

In the end, it was a great night and lots of nice photos were taken by all. Many of which I would love to share, but don’t feel it’s appropriate for a wider audience and will keep most of those to our friends circle.

April 20, 2013

Social media blackouts for weddings

A recent article by The West Australian discusses the increasing trend by couples to ask their guests to not use any social media or take photos during their wedding ceremonies.

On one hand, I understand that you should be able to feel comfortable on your wedding day. But on the other hand, if I was told to not take photos and use social media at someone's wedding, I just wouldn't go in the first place.

At one point in the article it is mentioned that "technology was moving faster than good manners.." Bullshit!. I've said it for a while now but we need to stop trying to force out-dated social norms in the technological age.

There's also a mention in the article about people taking photos and posting them on social media before the couple could release their photos from their professional photographer. One future bride laments "It is the couple's day and it really should be up to them to release the pictures."

On a personal level, I feel this bride needs to get her head out of her ass and stop pretending like she's a celebrity.

However, this person should learn that people don't care about what photos are first and they are always going to want to see the professional photos. Wedding photographers, especially good ones, are expensive for a reason. They are able to paint a picture of the moment that any regular person with a camera, like myself, just couldn't do. Being first doesn't matter.

There also the benefits that technology has bought to the big day. No longer are couples forced to hire an expensive photographer in order to capture the celebrations as there are plenty of family/friends willing to take their own photos and share them with you.

The other benefit is that you will have multiple people taking photos, each showing different aspects of the day that just one photographer may not capture.

While my wife and I had a quiet wedding with 25-30 people only, we still have photos from 3-4 different people all with their own views and photographic memories of our wedding.

In the end, I think these couples are extremely misguided. Wanting to control the whole experience is not the point of a wedding. It's not meant to be a perfectly orchestrated production. It's meant to be a celebration; a social celebration for all to take part.

This piece was originally written on Google+