Seasonal sadness

Auto-generated description: A solitary tree stands beside an empty bench overlooking a calm sea at sunrise.

My in-laws fly back to the UK tomorrow, the lead up to which always results in a feeling of sadness and dread in the house.

I’m lucky enough to have a great relationship with both sets of my in-laws (my wife’s parents divorced when she was very young). While my Father-in-law and his wife don’t visit due to health issues these days, my Mother-in-law and her husband are generally able to get here at least once a year. No mean feat coming half way around the world every time to Australia, but so grateful it is possible.

The goodbye every year gets tougher though. My kids are older now and feel the emptiness of the house when they are gone more. Pretty sure our dog is going to be sad without her daily pats and hellos from the in-laws.

The realities of life and ageing cast an increasing shadow over every visit. while my in-laws are in relatively good health, especially for their age, it’s hard to not feel these things when other family members are having health battles of their own. Increasing frailness results in just wanting to hold on tighter.

Thanks to technology, the daily video calls between my wife and her mum make the distance a bit more manageable over time; something we were especially grateful for during the pandemic. It is amazing to have, but never the same.

I’m always thankful for my wife for choosing to move here. While I’m close with my family, I’m nowhere near the level she is. The initial plan was for me to go with her to the U.K and spend some time there, before ultimately settling back here in Perth, Australia. Life had other plans with the expected arrival of our now oldest child, and the timeline was accelerated. My wife has never expressed regret for her choice, but I am always conscious of the fact that is was a choice she made to live away from her family.

As disruptive as it would be, if she said she wanted to move back I would still do it without hesitation. Well, assuming the kids are ok with the plan as they have built their own lives now too.

So tomorrow we have to see them off at the departure lounge again; planning future visits while also being sad and trying to quieten the fear that our catastrophising selves build in our minds, because we are increasingly aware that life cannot be scripted.

Is it time for a correction?

Auto-generated description: Several laptops and a smartphone with a keyboard case are arranged on a wooden surface.

I recently posted my review of the Clicks keyboard for the Google Pixel 9 Pro. It’s great device that brings back the physical keyboard to modern devices for those who prefer that experience over an on screen keyboard; if you are willing to deal with the trade offs.

One of those trade offs is size. I mention in the review how this was not as impactful for my usage as I was concerned it would be, with the phone and case still fitting in the front pocket of my clothes despite the extra size.

Despite this, I kept looking at this phone and case combo and thinking to myself “this is quite a lot to carry around for what I use”. A part of me started wondering if I was following the sunk cost fallacy, continuing to invest in a decision when I’ve already spent the money. While there might be some elements of truth to that, I don’t think that is my primary concern here.

I continue to be mindful in my phone usage. I keep social media off the phone (using the ones I do on the laptop instead), and it is much the same for video consumption. I primarily want to use my device as a communication tool, with occasional audio and camera use.

However, the reality is I’m not a massive text communicator. Any standard smartphone would meet my personal needs just fine.

The idea of getting a device with a physical keyboard is certainly fuelled by nostalgia, but in my mind I got convinced that it would be beneficial for communication. Memories of yesteryear typing out long text on my BlackBerry Bold’s & remembering how much I used to simply enjoy typing, convinced me that a physical keyboard would be useful for my desire to simply use my phone as a powerful communicator.

But the thing is, what I was doing on my BlackBerry was the same thing most other BlackBerry users was doing at the time; writing and responding to work emails. Vividly remember, sitting at my office chair, work desktop in front of me with a full keyboard yet sitting there on the BlackBerry typing out emails.

Now I don’t mind having access to work emails on the phone, can come in handy in a pinch; but I don’t want to go down the path of preferring to do my work communication on the phone. My role also means I very quickly need to move to the laptop when I want to do some real work anyway, so I’ll always move the emails and chats to there as well.

So I find myself with a very powerful phone, with a very capable keyboard, being very much under-utilised.

So, what did my brain do? It tried to find ways to justify it (coming back to the cost sunk fallacy). I started experimenting with adding social media and other apps on the phone again; increasing my phone usage for personal and work use. Unsurprisingly, I started to feel a bit worn down and tired using my phone more often.

So where to from here?

The most logical thing is to be mindful of my phone usage again, stop using the social apps, limit how much work communication I’m doing through it etc.

Maybe that involves only using the Clicks case during the work week and taking it off during personal time or weekends. While it’s fairly simple to remove and add the case itself, the Clicks keyboard (or any physical keyboard on a modern smartphone) is not something you can invest in only part time. You need that consistency to build up the muscle memory with the physical keyboard in order to get the most out of it; so only using it for certain periods in a week would not be the most beneficial.

Auto-generated description: Two smartphones with the same mountain-themed wallpaper, one has a physical keyboard attached, displaying app icons and date information.

Then I look over and a more recent nostalgia friend makes its case: the iPhone 13 Mini. As capable as any other modern smartphone, but with enough limitations to prevent the temptation to do more on it.

Now, the reason I initially bought the Pixel was for work reasons as the customer I work for implemented InTune enrolment. That hasn’t changed and I’m still unsure about doing it on an iPhone, whereas Android has a robust work profile function that gives me a lot more trust in the personal/work data separation.

But if I can get past that (or actually go back to carrying both if I can be bothered), the iPhone Mini does what I need from a phone.