Andrew Melder

Going to clarify this thread by saying this is a personal opinion, because there’s no doubt I’ll be called out somehow for daring to criticise Beyoncé.

I finished listening to Cowboy Carter & struggled to do so.

This feels like an album trying to win awards. Meanwhile there’s a constant struggle between trying to adhere to a genre, while simultaneously trying to redefine it somehow.

It all just means that the whole album feels disjointed.

It starts off defensively, predicting the backlash about her doing a country album; even though you could make valid arguments for and against that case.

I’ve heard others describe the second half of this album redefining the country genre; but it’s where the album lost me. Singing about whiskey, rhinestones and saying giddy up doesn’t make a country song. It’s more aligned with her previous work with country slang to make it feel like she’s challenging stereotypes & trying to redefine things.

However there is some good stuff here. II MOST WANTED is a standout for me. BLACKBIIRD is a very nice version (Jon Batiste still does my favourite cover). YA YA and RIIVERDANCE are good despite the genre theatrics. BODYGUARD is just a straight pop song.

I’m not precious about the aggressiveness of JOLENE. I personally don’t get the female empowerment play of threatening the woman your man cheated on you with though (maybe, just maybe, expect better from your man).

Overall, it will probably win praise and awards. Yet team Carter will still find a way to spin it to give the impression Beyoncé isn’t given her dues somehow. Which will likely just be more promotional fuel for the next album.

I don’t think I’ll be revisiting this one soon.

Ignore the stigma, unburden your pockets

While the world has seemingly started to accept men carrying a man bag or shoulder slings, there’s still a bit of a perception around the classic fanny pack (or waist pack / bum bag if you prefer).

I know this because since late January I’ve been wearing a fanny pack daily…and I god damn love it.

While us men are generally lucky to have most of our clothes contain pockets to store items; with some of us carrying more throughout the day, it’s useful to have a bag with some small items with you to free the weight in your pockets.

As mentioned, some have taken to carrying man bags or slings for this purpose. If that works for you, awesome. However, while I’ve tried a few of these bags, none of them have ended up in my daily rotation until I started wearing a fanny pack.

Let me go over the benefits I’ve found over other bag types for my daily carry.

Comfort

While I’ve tried some very good shoulder bags and slings, I’ve never been comfortable with carrying something around my shoulder all day. Even with a lite bag and minimal items, there is a fatigue to carrying extra weight on your shoulder/s for a period of time.

Personally, using a fanny pack and having that weight around my waist is far more comfortable. Like having a slightly heavier belt on. In addition, I don’t have the movement restriction of having a bag strapped around my shoulder, chest or back.

Convenience

Yes a shoulder bag could carry more things, but they are generally loose around your body and require you to find a place for the bag when you sit somewhere. Sling bags maybe slightly better for this as they are designed to be worn tightly on your chest or back, but you are often adjusting it back and forth depending on what your situation or needs are at any time.

My fanny pack stays mounted around my lap pretty much all day. It’s small enough that I can still sit comfortably with it on, and I can (mostly) access anything I need from the bag without needing to swing it around or take it off.

There’s occasional times where I will need to adjust or remove it temporarily; but far less often than any shoulder or sling bag with my usage.

Simplicity

Like with any bag, you can go overboard with this. However in general, fanny packs are limited in size and shape. Why is this a benefit?

First, it doesn’t tempt you to take too many items apart from items you may need. With larger shoulder bags, I found myself taking stuff I didn’t really need because the space was there; but then I’m carrying around more weight and making it slightly difficult to get to items I actually want.

Related to this is comfort; the more you carry, the more uncomfortable it is. Some sling bags are getting so big you can fit laptops in them. At that point even when tightened to your back, having that weight braced on a single shoulder is not as ergonomic and comfortable as just having a small backpack.

But Andrew, it doesn’t look very fashionable?

Well, some men can make fanny packs look fashionable. Chances are if you can’t make a fanny pack fashionable, a man bag or sling will look equally as unfashionable on you.

I’m definitely not one that makes this look good, but I’ve chosen to lean into it. Wear it proudly, try golf attire (flat caps and polo shirts).

Are you comfortable? Then be comfortable damnit. Besides you’re 40 and older now, why are you bothered by the opinions of others over your style or comfort.

Embrace the fanny pack!

My mind seems to be sabotaging me again.

Taking quite a privileged position at work and turning it into a “fight or flight” scenario; getting my anxiety up and wondering what’s next?

Once again, I find myself unfulfilled at work and I’m struggling with it. Most of the time (like right now) I can move forward and put my job as just a way to provide a lifestyle.

This morning was a different feeling though. A vagueness in my attitude, a lack of drive to do anything, a lack of energy just to move. Black dog, I know you well.

Thankfully I know the drill: you will come up with the worst possible scenarios to mull over. I have to identify them, accept it’s my brain being unreasonable, and move forward.

Always move forward. Never ignoring the minds tricks, but not wasting energy battling them and let it pass.

Context is key. I have choices here, my job itself isn’t actually bad, I have a reserve of leave available if I absolutely need it, home life has the usual stresses but we are in a far better position than most.

Balance. Not all about career happiness but not being afraid to pursue it. Not assuming the grass is greener elsewhere while also keeping the door open if something better is available.

Deep breaths. Slow the manic mind. Gratitude. Things will be fine.

Anxiety falls, clarity appears.

Move forward.