Andrew Melder

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Wedding photography as a guest and why I was wrong

Calling out my own bullshit

Bridal table display at a wedding | Photo by author

11 years ago I wrote this post: Social media blackouts for weddings.

I had a very technology-positive stance around the use of smartphones and cameras by guests at weddings; and bristled at those who chose to either not allow guests to take photos, or who asked guests not to post anything until they did.

I now look back at my views then in the same way I see the Google Glass Explorers (a.k.a. Glassholes), which was actually released a few days after my post. We were a bit naive in the adoption and acceptance, seeing tech as moving us forward without enough empathy and sometimes flat out dismissal of others who disagreed.

On a personal level my thoughts on weddings being a celebration for everyone to freely capture as they seem fit, in addition to the value of a professional photographer not being diminished by their photos, actually remains the same.

What’s changed is that I understand and respect those who don’t feel this way.

While I’ve developed those feelings over the last decade as I’ve gotten older and (dare I say it) wiser; this was clarified to me over the weekend as my family attended a friend’s wedding.

They didn’t wish to have people take photos during the ceremony. And while they were happy for people to take whatever photos they wanted afterwards at the reception, they requested no social posts until they were able to do so the next day.

It seemed like a great balance (although in this case the marriage celebrant could have been a bit less condescending when advising guests).

They had a Google Photos shared album so guests can share their photos with the couple throughout the night and the following days. Which was actually a very cool use of technology to see photos of multiple guests being shared during the night.

Anyway where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I was wrong.

In the end, it was a great night and lots of nice photos were taken by all. Many of which I would love to share, but don’t feel it’s appropriate for a wider audience and will keep most of those to our friends circle.